insidebuzz : confessions of a future child star

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Five dollars

When you buy a piece of furniture from a store - like, say, a chair - pay the extra five bucks for assembly. Me, being Man, decided I could assemble it myself.

An hour later, here I sit, in a brand new chair that I built for less than minimum wage. I am irritated, yet comfortable.

By the way, my brother suckered me into signing up at MySpace.com. Supposedly it's for networking and keeping in touch with friends. Visit me here. And be my friend. I don't want to die alone and be known as Crazy Snake Man.

5:57 PM |

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Happy Birthday, Mel

Good luck on the interview today. I know you'll knock them off their feet. You've always had that effect on people. And don't be so hard on Lucy. Dogs are like babies... they pee first and ask questions later.

9:34 PM |

What day is it?

I've been in L.A. for about a week and a half, and I have a job. Hey, kid doesn't mess around, you know? I'm doing some part-time contract work for a radio network. I'll be filling in for a guy on vacation next week. The hours are a jewel: 11pm-6am PT. Weeee!

In other news, my apartment in Indy is trying to screw me on the deposit. Big shock. My new place, in which my brother has lived for several months, is trying to screw us on rent. They want to increase because I moved in. Like we added on a wing to this already expansive 2 bed, 1 bath spread in NoHo.

In other news, I hear my people back in Naptown are a little lost without my free at-work counseling. Look what happens when I leave and my friends get Jacked and Hanked around. This can't end well.

6:41 PM |

Friday, March 25, 2005

32

I think I'm just now shaking off the headache from this morning. Which, was a direct result of the liquid dinner from last night. Chris and his friend Heather took me to their favorite bar in Hollywood - The Fox & Hound. It's the kind of place where you feel like any given moment can turn into a brawl over Manchester United, and how they are the greatest thing ever. They play soccer, right? Los Angeles is a strange, foreign land. Full of hotness and crazies. And now, I am a resident.

1:03 PM |

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

I blame Seacrest

American Idol blows it again. This time... wrong phone numbers, for the wrong contestants. So now, they will air a new show tonight, with a re-vote. Where the hell was that back in 2000? And does anyone still watch this crap anyway?

8:38 AM |

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

So I've heard

I was informed today that two of the most stressful things people face are 1) moving and 2) finding a job. I'm facing both at the SAME time. Weee. Moving is horrible. I already have a ton of dirty laundry from making the trip. On top of that, everything I shipped U-Pack is either dirty or damaged. Sure, I saved money using ABF, but now I feel like I'm a college student. Cramming my hand-me-down everything into a small bedroom. So here I sit, jobless, surrounded by boxes and bags of things I don't want to unpack. And I need to go grocery shopping. Chris has a fridge full of... nothing. It's the Phi Delt house all over again. Without the easy women and the big blue neon letters.

9:49 AM |

Saturday, March 19, 2005

LOS ANGELES

I arrived in North Hollywood on Friday, March 18th, approximately 10:05AM Pacific, via:

I-465 South
I-70 West
I-44 West
I-35 South
I-20 West
US 285 North
I-40 West
US 89 North
SR 64 South
I-40 West
I-15 South
I-210 West
SR 134 West

Along the way, I visited the St. Louis Gateway Arch, avoided a snowstorm in Amarillo, got pulled over for doing 80 in a 70 by a Texas State Trooper who looked like Vin Diesel, toured Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico, and stood in awe at the edge of the Grand Canyon. Oh, and I stopped at the birthplace of Route 66. Seligman, AZ. Home of 2 gas stations.

A list of firsts:

First California gas: $2.49/unleaded
First L.A. meal: Del Taco
First traffic jam: the 405, heading South, in the rain, Friday rush hour
First night on the town: seeing an old friend in a show, then drinking
First celebrity sighting: Dennis Quaid in Brentwood
First on the to-do list for Monday: get a job

5:44 PM |

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Final Transmission from Indianapolis, Indiana

In a matter of hours, I will load up the Jeep Cherokee with the last of my possessions, and head West on 465 to I-70, in the direction of St. Louis. During that short first leg of my trip to Los Angeles, I will think of Mel, all the great friends I've made, and how mortified I was at my going away party Friday night. (Let's just say it involved a chair, one ripped shirt, some spanking and tweeking of the nips. I'm still sore.) I'm excited about this move, but I couldn't be more sad. I'm leaving behind some amazing friends, and a woman I'm still crazy about. This is tough. As for you Indy, it turns out I barely knew you. I hope we keep in touch.

Time for sleep. I have 2093.29 miles to cover.

Craven, out.

10:44 PM |

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I'm packed.. sort of

Tonight, with the help of friends, almost everything I own was loaded onto a U-Haul, driven to an ABF terminal, and crammed into a 5'x7'x8' container. It's like a big plywood box that will be shoved into a tractor-trailer and driven to L.A. where, in a about a week, I will repeat the process in reverse. Problem is, not everything I intended on shipping fit. So now I get creative. Whatever I can't fit into the Cherokee will either go into a small trailer that I'll need to tow, or overhead on the luggage rack. Not in Plan A, but, whatever.

All this after an already-eventful day in which I got a haircut and then a brief scare at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles. (I still, after 4 years, don't understand why Indiana insists on the "BMV" instead of the "DMV.") I was caught off guard when asked had I any points on my license or recently had it suspended.

ME: Um.. no? Not that I'm aware of.

HER: I'll need to make a phone call.

After she was on hold with someone in charge of something in an office somewhere, my name was cleared, and the town rejoiced.

Tonight was also my last night on-air in Indy. What a run. WZPL, WGRL, WGLD, and WFMS. Another four years of getting paid to goof off. That's all about to change. Stand by......

9:08 PM |

Monday, March 07, 2005

Get fired for your blog

That would suck.

9:23 PM |

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Finals Week

The very mention of the phrase still conjures up feelings of anxiety from college days. Did I study enough? Did I ever go to that class? Am I still enrolled here? This Finals Week is worse. It's sad. The last lunch with friends at work. The last night on the town. The last Indiana sunset. The last time with Melissa.

The saddest thing about a new beginning, is that it always follows a new end.

9:13 PM |

Friday, March 04, 2005

George W. Bush, comedian

"We want that democracy in Lebanon to succeed, and we know it cannot succeed so long as she is occupied by a foreign power..."

Read the irony here.

9:09 PM |

No more Mr. Nice Guy

I just got off the phone with the Salvation Army. They were going to pick up my donated furniture next Thursday, but they can't unload from my third floor apartment. I would have to haul everything downstairs for pick-up. Of course, they can't guarantee a pick-up time, other than to say there is a 3 hour window. That means all of the furniture would be sitting outside for up to 3 hours. So, a couch, loveseat, 3 end tables, a dining room table with 4 chairs, and a dresser are ALL going into the trash. Thanks for nothing. It's become such a bitch to give to any charity. No wonder we don't. Goodwill and Salvation Army can both kiss my ass.

7:46 AM |

Just my luck

I move next week. It's supposed to get colder, with rain and snow. And now I have a cold. I'm taking Zicam, which normally shortens the length of your cold. We'll see. For now, I'm just miserable. Last night consisted of watching an OC marathon (I have no idea why) and reading for an hour. I was in bed by 11 and didn't get up until 8. This morning has been spent wisely as well, by taking the Southerner's quiz.

My results: "71% (Dixie). You are a solid Southerner!"

Take the quiz here, Yankee.

6:10 AM |

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Goodwill, with conditions

I called to schedule a donation pick-up today for my couches, a couple of end tables and a dining room set. The lady on the phone couldn't have sounded more disinterested in my charity. Then I find out how appreciative Goodwill has really become... The next truck will be out on March 18th.

March 18th? Today is the 3rd, and I leave town on the 14th. Is that really the earliest possible pick-up? Yes.

This, after I found Goodwill's list of "conditions" for donations. They will not accept furniture in need of repair, large appliances, playground equipment, pianos, pool tables, televisions, etc.

My dad was telling me recently how they wouldn't take a fax machine in perfect condition. I bet they wouldn't mind a donation of dead presidents - wrinkled or not.

5:36 PM |

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I hate moving

How is it that each time you move, you throw away more and more stuff that could have been tossed in the first move? The last move? Why is something we hang onto so valuable one day, yet disposable two years later? Why do I have so much glassware? I got up at 8:15 today and starting packing - for real. I have been in denial about this for a while. I'm making the right move for myself. But, I'm leaving someone behind that I'm still not over. I'm not sure I ever will be. But, I think she is.. so here we are. Both job hunting, in two different directions. I know that when I leave, a big part of me will be left behind. Bigger than I ever expected. I knew this would happen when I moved here five years ago. I have no regrets. Still, I think I'm becoming that guy from Swingers. At least he could dance.

9:17 PM |

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Just got back from Paris...

...Las Vegas. The sales staff at our radio cluster was awarded a trip because they met some sales quota, or something. Since two people backed out at the last minute, a drawing was held on Friday for two additional spots. Our IT guy, Jake, and I were the only two to sign up. Free hotel and airfare? I'm there. We flew out Sunday and got back tonight. If you've ever been, you know that's more than enough time to get your fill. I think I actually lost more money buying food and drinks than I did in the casino. I did OK on the blackjack tables, but it never got me out of the hole I put myself in playing slots. Stupid slot machines. I did find some amusement in things other than gambling though. There's nothing more funny than a white guy doing a lounge version of "Hot in Herre" by Nelly.

As for now, I'm tired. I have so much to do before I move (road trip starts March 13th or 14th). Scary to think that I only have 8 days left at work.

8:55 PM |

...:::about

This is the true story of a radio personality who quit his job, packed up his things, and moved to L.A. to live his dream. Welcome to the official account of life on Earth, as seen through the eyes of Jason Burns... Actor, Writer, and Jackass.

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