For my big Friday night I...... worked. When you get the call for an acting/modeling gig, and you're in the Midwest, you take it. Whatever it is, whenever it is, wherever it is. I just got back from shooting video for United Airlines in a hangar at Indianapolis International Airport. Nice people, good food, and easy money. There's nothing like getting paid to walk down the aisle of a plane, sit, buckle your seat belt, talk to the passenger next to you, and ask the flight attendant a question about the safety procedures. Over and over. Not one complaint here. Beats waiting in line between a bachelorette party and an Abercrombie & Fitch commercial at Howl at the Moon. And, I didn't have to hear the IU and Purdue fight songs on dueling pianos. 37 times.

Cover letters are written, and ready to head West. Where will they go? Will they reach the correct destination and person? Will they ever slip past the interior of the envelope? Be read? Tossed? Used as a coaster? For doodling? Letters and resumes are the spermatozoa of our generation. Hopefully one will stick.

I can't believe the amount of support I'm getting for my decision to walk away from my job and move to L.A. People I hardly know at work are offering congratulations. Some, saying how jealous they are that it isn't them. Maybe I am pretty lucky. Not many people get the chance to make a go of it. Or maybe they just don't see it for themselves. Whatever the case, I feel like a kid hitting the open road with the hopes, dreams, and future of the town on my shoulders. We all live vicariously through each other - that's why we gossip. I just hope I can deliver on their expectations.

Here is my co-workers' list of demands, so far:

1. Call when I meet Usher
2. Say "Hi" to George Clooney and Brad Pitt, and
3. Be nice to my fans

Hard to be nice when you ain't got no jizzob.

Moving to Indianapolis in September of 2000, I had no idea how long I would be here. I moved away from everyone I knew - family, friends, the warm Florida sunshine. I moved away for a job, doing nights at WZPL. Fast forward to 2005. I have now worked at 4 - count 'em: WZPL, WGRL, WGLD, WFMS - 4 radio stations. I never planned on staying long. I also never planned on falling in love, making such great friends, and becoming a Hoosier. I now know what corn looks like, the value of a pork tenderloin, and why Reggie Miller is the favorite son. I now know that there are more seasons than Spring and Summer, and that the ultimate goal in life is to get married, buy a dog, have 2.3 kids, and move to Fishers. There are a lot of things I know now about Indiana. But I also learned something new today - how much I will miss it. You can't describe for people that have never lived here what it's like. The only way to find out is to experience it for yourself. There were times where I didn't give Indy a fair shake. A lot of times, I'm ashamed to admit. It has nothing to do with the city. I think there is always a cruel sense of irony how you start to feel about a place or a person when you're about to leave. But, I don't think this is a false positive. This is real. The people, the job.. all of it good. One of my favorite moments is how I broke down several months ago in an exit ramp off I-465. In the 10 minutes I sat there letting the car cool down, 3 different people stopped to see if I needed a hand. I didn't know them, and they didn't know me. That wouldn't have happened in many other places. That's when it really hit me. I was home.

I put in my notice at work today. I love working at Susquehanna Indianapolis and WFMS. They are the finest group of people I've ever had the pleasure of working with. I must be an idiot to leave it. I'm moving to L.A. to pursue bigger dreams that may or may not ever be realized. I'm packing it up and going. No job is waiting. No medical or dental. Nothing. Just a bigger, colder, city. If we look back at this in 2 years, and I haven't achieved much, at least there is this: I went. That's it. I've talked about it since the first George Bush was in office. Talked and talked. And talked some more. My old high school drama teacher, Mr. Mintz, had a saying. "Shit, or get off the pot." Cranky old bastard. He was right.

So, I'm going. Come along for the ride. And please, bring gas money.

Forwards at work waste time and hurt your eyes. This one may save your life:


"Google has implemented a new feature wherein you can type someone's telephone number into the search bar and hit enter and then you will be given a map to their house. Everyone should be aware of this!

Note that you can have your phone number removed or blocked. Before forwarding this, I tested it by typing my telephone number in google.com. I did some of my friends home numbers and they came up, and when I clicked on the Map Quest link, it actually mapped out where they lived. Quite scary. Please look up your own number.

Think about it--if a child, ANYONE gives out his/her phone number, someone can actually now look it up to find out where he/she lives. The safety issues are obvious, and alarming. In order to test whether your phone number is mapped, go to: google.com.

Type your phone number in the search bar (i.e. 555-555-1212) and hit enter. If you want to BLOCK Google from divulging your private information, simply click on "Phone Book Results for 555-555-1212".

Removal takes 48-hours. If you are unlisted in the phone book, you might not be in there, but it is a good idea just to check. If your number does come up if you hit map, it will show you a direct map to your house."


I never buy into this crap.. until today. There it was. My own listing... name, number, address, map. I wonder if Google might be nice enough to someday make my key available.

"Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

- Gilda Radner

The Pentagon is building an army of robots. This will enable us to invade more countries simultaneously, wiping out any and all nations that oppose our will. The following countries are on notice: Iran, Syria, North Korea, China, Russia, Germany, Cuba, and Canada. France will be spared, and made to serve us with their wine and chocolates. After the spread of democracy around the globe, and the acceptance of Texan as the universal language, any robots not assigned to strategic positions in American colonies will form a new International Hockey League. This new sport will serve as Earth's favorite pastime for all humans, until such beings are completely exterminated from the planet.

Have a nice day.

The Star Wars kid has been replaced... by this other kid. Takes a little while to load, but well worth the wait. Makes me want to sit down and dance.


Taken The Birth Test yet?

Your birth date describes who you are, what you are good at and what your inborn abilities are. It also points to what you have to learn and the
challenges you are facing. To figure out your birth number, add all the
numbers in your birth date together, like the example below, until there is
only one digit. A birth number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be, it will just give you a little insight.

Example: March 20, 1950

3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973

1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20

2 + 0 = 2

Keep going until you end up with a single digit number. 2 is the birth number for the birth date in the example. Find your number and then read on.

#1 The Originator
#2 The Peacemaker
#3 The Life Of The Party
#4 The Conservative
#5 The Nonconformist
#6 The Romantic
#7 The Intellectual
#8 The Big Shot
#9 The Performer


#1 The Originator

1's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is natural.
Having things their own way is another trait that shows them as being
stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and would do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often
leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is
definitely helpful for them. Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as
good or better and to stay open minded. Famous 1's are Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynonna Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.


#2 The Peacemaker

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very
intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship are very important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other hand, they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being
naturally shy, they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express
themselves freely. They should seize the moment and not put things off.

Famous 2's are Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison,
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.


#3 The Life Of The Party

3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming, romantic, and
easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through. They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a more realistic point of view. Famous 3's are Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, Jodi Foster.


#4 The Conservative

4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They only act
when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves. Famous 4's are Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey.


#5 The Nonconformist

5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm
often land them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't like to be
stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a learning
possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well
advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the
facts before jumping to conclusions. Famous 5's are Abraham Lincoln,
Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen
Keller, Mark Hail.


#6 The Romantic

6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions influence their decisions.
They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who take friendship seriously. 6's should learn to differentiate
between what they can change and what they cannot. Famous 6's are Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn.


#7 The Intellectual

7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they find it
difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is, "Slow and Steady Wins the Race." They come across as philosophical and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering information. They love to
uncover secrets. They live in their own quiet world and could do a better
job of learning what is acceptable in the world at large. Famous 7's are
William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana.


#8 The Big Shot

8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the point,
have good judgment and are decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They take charge of people. They view people objectively.They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the boss. They should learn to exude their decisions on their own needs rather than what others want. Famous 8's are Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklyn, Nostradamus.


#9 The Performer

9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their charm they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many different personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a loving foundation. Famous 9's are Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley.


I'm a 3. Party on, yo.

Remember back in school, how we used to sing nursery rhymes from our i-Pods and get our homework from the class blog? Neither do I. Flash cards, P.E., and the TRS-80... that's the stuff. Kids today have no appreciation for "20 GOTO 10." Can you scroll your name in DOS? Don't hate. Participate.

- ---- ---, ---.

When I was doing afternoons at the 80's station, I used to rag on a lot of celebrities. Some for what they did. Some for what they said. Some, for just being who they are. Remember how funny we all thought it was when Slash and a bunch of guys from Guns N' Roses teamed up with Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots? How they could never get rolling with an album or a tour, because Weiland was always getting arrested for things like hitting parked cars? Well, joke's on me. Velvet Revolver has got themselves a Grammy. I have a feeling even Ray Charles might find this amusing.

Also amusing: Britney Spears snagged one too... for Best Dance Recording. I guess Ashlee Simpson has a chance after all.

In related news: Ashlee Simpson fans are brilliant. Check out this online petition to end Ashlee's career. Tonight's homework assignment is to total the number of Ashlee Simpson fans who have actually signed The Stop Ashlee Simpson Petition in order to defend her.

Don Cheadle is amazing. This is definitely a movie that everyone should see - but they won't. It makes you feel pretty ashamed when you see just a glimpse of what people in Rwanda went through. I know how awful it feels every time I see something that refers to the Nazi atrocities during WWII. You always think to yourself: How could the world have let this happen? Then you see a movie like this, about the same thing happening in the past decade. We didn't do anything, because it didn't serve our interests. Just like Sudan, present day. But we're more than happy to invade Iraq, because they may (or may not) have WMD. The whole thing makes you feel sick. Check this one out when you get the chance. It's a story everyone should know.

How many times do I have to go to Walmart on a Saturday afternoon before I learn? It didn't help that this was one of the first warm weekends we've had in a long time. I will say, there is nothing like the $5.50 DVD bin. I found Howard Stern: Private Parts, Top Secret, Weekend at Bernie's, and Made. Rock bottom is pretty far down when you don't have cable.

I heard there was going to be an escalation of a girl-girl relationship on the OC tonight. While this is not in my normal required television viewing for the week, I did feel an obligation of sorts to monitor the program to insure the protection of our country's values and the safety of the American family unit. Plus, the two girls in question are hot. I did not find the kiss itself to be objectionable, although I would have liked to have more to go on than the 3 seconds they offered. The relationship between the two characters looks promising. I have decided that it might be in my best interest - as well as the interest of society - to continue monitoring this program, following the development of this fascinating storyline.

Funny. I just realized, this is how I got sucked into watching Fastlane.

Jason Giambi held a press conference today, apologizing repeatedly for something he never revealed.

Yankees suck.

I feel like we're going backwards. This is America, a nation whose cowboy leader has made it a goal to spread freedom across the globe. What kind of freedom will that be? Freedom with limits? Will it be the kind that must meet the approval of the White House and its agenda? The FCC? The NFL? You already know the story of Nipplegate, and the vanilla sequel that was Sir Paul. Now this. A commercial that pokes fun at last year's fiasco was pulled before airing for a second time during the Super Bowl. Why? Because it was "inappropriate." Translation: because the NFL is still embarrassed. So, they censored a commercial that was a parody of censorship itself. Anyone else find this amusing? Problem is, it isn't. There was no nudity in the spot. No profanity. Nothing. So now we're censoring... what? Reminder: this is America. If you want state-run TV and newspapers, move to China or Russia. I understand that the NFL wants to appeal to a mass audience for the Super Bowl. But, I'm tired of parents blaming the media and everyone else for their lack of parenting. And I'm tired of organizations like the FCC and NFL caving to a complaint from Jim-Bob and Shirley Whats-his-nuts in Corpus Christi,Texas that they can't watch their kids' TV viewing because they're too busy cleaning their guns and organizing their anti-Spongebob rally.

While I'm calling out professional sports organizations.. Major League Baseball, it serves you damn right. Jose Conseco is coming out with a tell-all book about how he helped several teammates - including Mark McGuire - juice up with steroids. Granted, Conseco is a dumbass with hardly any credibility. But baseball is pissed about this? Maybe they should have had a testing policy throughout the 90's like everyone told them to. Instead, they looked the other way.

"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself."
Ethel Barrymore (1879-1959), American actress

Israel and Palestine have agreed to stop blowing each other up.

In other news, my brother and I promise to stop picking on each other. Really. We mean it this time.

Gotta love ifilm. If you missed any last night during the game, you can see them here. Or, watch TV for the next several months. Your call. My personal favorite is NFL Showtunes, where John Gruden stops singing to yell at his kids. Hysterical.

Better start winning again, Chucky.

Indianapolis just realized what year it is, and there is talk of a ban on public smoking... restaurants, bars, and the workplace. Holy crap. Is it 1997 already? Smokers are pissed. So are bar owners. (Attention bar owners: smokers will STILL go out drinking, AND your bar will smell pretty.) Let's see, there are already 10 statewide bans on public smoking. Cuba, the cigar capital of the world, is also making the move. What's up, Indy? Is Cuba that much more concerned about my health than Indianapolis? There's a thought. Maybe this will actually go through this time. Maybe we'll get Daylight Savings Time. Maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.

I say keep the public smoking. Personally, I will miss the feeling of appreciation and nasal freedom I get from leaving a bar at night. I would also be less likely to do as much laundry. And let's not forget about shampoo sales citywide. All very important issues to consider in a volatile economy. It's hard work.

Dean Wormer has passed away. Faber College will never be the same. A rare moment of silence today at the Delta house.



"I hate those guys."

A couple of punk spammers who sold 92 million AOL addresses are about to be sent to their room. Lock 'em up. But, before you do, let the 92 million of us have at them. Just 5 minutes is all we need. We're not going to hurt them, we promise. Just some long overdure parenting.

Oh, yeah... Bring us their parents, too. Bastards.

4/5 on the Buzzometer for the movie Sideways

I went on my first tour of the hospital today with the radio station. The Radiothon is set for June, so we were there to see the operation and meet with a few of the doctors and parents. It's amazing to see how brave these kids are. Imagine not being able to go out and play. Or eat peanut butter. Or breathe. They just want to be kids, and you can see how the people at Riley do everything they possibly can to make it happen. It really makes you feel stupid for thinking of your own "problems." You've got nothing on them. Yet, they are all optimistic. Doing the best they can with their given situation. Adults could learn a lot from kids. I knew it then, and I was reminded today.