More spam from work today.. amazing we get anything done there:


WHAT TREE DID YOU FALL FROM?

Find your birthday and then find your tree. This is interesting and
somewhat accurate, also in line with Celtic astrology. Then send it to all
your friends, including the one that sent it to you, so they can find out
what tree they fell from, but don't forget to change the subject line to
your tree.

Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree

Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree

Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree

Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree

Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree

Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree

Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree

Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree

Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree

Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree

Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree

Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree

Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree

Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree

May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree

May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree

May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree

Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree

Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 (only) - Birch Tree

Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree

Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree

Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree

Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree

Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree

Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree

Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree

Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree

Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree

Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree

Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree

Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree

Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree

Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree

Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree

Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree

Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree

Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree

Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree

YOUR TREE (in Alphabetical order)

Apple Tree (Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm, appeal, and
attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile, adventurous, sensitive,loyal
in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very
generous, many talents, loves children, needs affectionate partner.

Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious, impulsive,
demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented,
likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic, reliable, restless lover,
sometimes money rules over the heart, demands attention, needs love and
much emotional support.

Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its looks,
materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good
leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion,
keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).

Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly,
unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar,
loves life in nature and is calm, not very passionate, full of imagination,
little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes
unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look
down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often
impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy
optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive, well-developed
sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born diplomat, can be
irritated easily, sensitive of others feelings, hard worker, sometimes acts
superior, feels not understood at times, fiercely family oriented, very
loyal in love, physically fit.

Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life
has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives to be content,
optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection,
hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful,
quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain
knowledge, needs to be needed.

Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, modest
demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to
obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others,
noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest,
loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker whenwants to
be! Loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, few
sexual relationships, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great
intelligence.

Fir Tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles stress well, loves
anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those close to them, hard to
trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes idleness laziness after long
demanding hours at work, rather modest, talented, unselfish, many friends,
very reliable.

Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very demanding
but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression,
active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody,
sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment
and expects complete fairness.

Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its looks and
condition, good taste, is not egotistic, makes life as comfortable as
possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and
acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom
happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its
decisions, very conscientious.

Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hardworking, accepts what life dishes out,
but not before trying to change bad circumstances into good ones, hates
fighting and stress, enjoys getaway vacations, may appear tough, but is
actually soft and relenting, always willing to make sacrifices for family
and friends, has many talents but not always enough time to use them, can
become a complainer, great leadership qualities, is
jealous at times but extremely loyal.

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no ordinary person, full of imagination
and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers
for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory,
learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting,
independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground,
person of action.

Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable,
balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm,
well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy,
loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.
Pine Tree (Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and harmony,
loves to help others, active imagination, likes to write poetry, not fashion
conscious, great compassion, friendly to all, falls strongly in love but
will leave if betrayed or lied to, emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs
affection and reassurance.

Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented, not very
self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and
pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great
artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable
in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism,
likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications,
is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate,
emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often
egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions,
spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon
partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very
jealous and passionate, no compromise.

Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves family life,
full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything
beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless,
capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when
pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they
find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to
make others laugh.

I was actually glued to the TV tonight, and it wasn't to find out who Trump would fire next. The Presidential Debate was engaging, and I have to say, I think John Kerry came out the winner. George W. Bush seemed rattled and extremely defensive. I wish I had, uh.. um.. maybe, you know... uh.. counted how many uh.. times he said, um... "uh." Or my new favorite: "you know, it's hard work." Dubya - master of the obvious. What kills me, is how people balk at making a change "in the middle of a war." Let's be honest. We'll always be in the middle of this war. The War on Terrorism is an ongoing war, with no clear reachable end. As you read this, a major offensive is taking place against insurgents in Iraq. Nearly three dozen children have been killed in bombings today. Somewhere, a 12-year-old just lost his little brother, and he's learning hate. He's learning to hate Americans. So the cycle repeats itself. I hope we can find an end to it soon, at least for our kids and grandkids - American, Iraqi, Chinese, Palestinian, whatever. But when someone says we can't change Presidents in the middle of a war, I ask them, what do you think will happen four years from now? The war will still be going, and someone new will have to step forward anyway. You have a heart condition, and badly need surgery. You're condition is deteriorating every day. With surgery, there is a risk. Do you put it off? Or do you face the music now and hope to turn this around? Suck it up, and sign in with the nurse on November 2nd.

1. They remodeled recently, and I might have to learn all new equipment
2. I'm still kinda full from dinner
3. I think I have a headache
4. It's already late
5. I have an early audition tomorrow - 10:30AM
6. I don't want to have to shower again
7. It's so far away - down the street
8. The muscleheads always look perplexed at my presence
9. I know I'll be tired after 20 minutes of working out
10. I could always go tomorrow
11. One workout isn't going to make or break me

You've got to admit, it's pretty funny when President Bush's hometown newpaper endorses a candidate for President... and it's not George W. Bush.

Terrorism
War in Iraq
Nuclear proliferation
Genocide in Sudan
AIDS
Corporate outsourcing
Health care crisis
Hurricanes

Good thing our elected officials were busy today... voting on the national tree.

1. hurricanes
2. Britney Spears
3. "reality shows" (except for The Apprentice and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition)
4. the Presidential election
5. spam
6. female drama
7. the Yankees
8. low carb anything
9. terrorist a-holes
10. Paris Hilton
11. lists

Just talked to Lexi in Jacksonville. They lost most of the roof from their house and sustained major water damage. She said they were the lucky ones - the neighbors suffered heavy damage from fallen trees. My parents still don't have power in St. Pete. The rest of the week forecasts highs in the mid 80's.

Some good news from Florida - Wyatt Sexton is now the starting QB for Florida State! I guess Chris Rix has a boo-boo, and won't be allowed to come out and play against Carolina or Syracuse. We may have just witnessed the end of an awful era.

Back here in Indy, a big day for 95-5 WFMS with announcements for Country Music Awards. WFMS won a CMA for Large Market Station of the Year, and J.D. Cannnon won for Large Market Personality of the Year. Awesome.

Sitting there on the couch, watching the Colts hammer the Green Bay Packers, I had no idea that Hurricane Jeanne was cutting across the state of Florida. Damn thing was supposed to skirt up the coast. Instead, Florida becomes the first state in 100 years to be hit by four hurricanes in one season. I knew something was wrong when I called my parents in St. Petersburg, and the phone kept on ringing with no machine picking up. I can't believe my Dad's cell was still in service. There I found them, Mom and Dad, sitting in the dark with one candle burning - no power. Ironically, this was the first time they didn't board up the windows. But they got more from this storm than the others. My Dad said they had winds up to 80 miles an hour today. At one point, he had to run outside to drag a huge tree limb into the backyard to keep it from flying into the car or the front window. What's worse... there are still two months left in hurricane season. Can't wait to see them. The whole family is supposed to meet up in Vegas first week of November for my brother's birthday. Vegas, baby. Vegas!

Hurricanes aside, decent weekend. Got my Oktoberfest on Friday night at the Rathskeller downtown. I'm told I drank my dinner. I was actually planning on meeting up with some new friends at Have A Nice Day Cafe... but that's what I get for hitching a ride. No control over where I wind up. At least arrived home fully dressed and not violated. I think.

Saturday night, caught A Certain Justice at the Cinema Grill. It was weird seeing myself on the big screen. I was the TV news anchor. Imagine that. I am your source for the news, fair and balanced. Yep.

Today was football. Bears-Vikings. Packers-Colts. And the stupid Bucs lose again. Fire Bruce Allen and John Gruden. Bastards.

Oh, and as for Florida State... keep Chris Rix on the bench. I can live with Sexton. Go 'Noles!

I had a live remote broadcast today at an auto parts store for this big monster truck event in town this weekend. Everything seemed to be going fine. In fact, there were no problems until my last break. Apparently, I was too involved in a discussion about the Jack Daniels girls at last weekend's Fan Jam to notice that my remote bed had already started. So I missed a couple of seconds. I picked up the mic and did the break without flinching. Seasoned pro? Maybe. Lucky jackass? More likely.

I blame the Y chromosome.

That stupid NEXT BLOG button finally got me. Just skipping through, minding my own business... pausing every now and then as some teen's blog changes my cursor to a plus sign or a volleyball. Then I hit a site that looks blank. But I can hear someone yelling something Islamic. Scroll down, and there it is. Somehow, without even looking for it, I stumbled upon the beheading video of American hostage Eugene "Jack" Armstrong. I saw the Nick Berg one when it happened, and believe me, my curiosity ended there. This... this was worse. This was the most gruesome thing not only to see, but to hear. I felt like I had to vomit. I stayed up an extra 2 hours looking at movie trailers just to get it out of my mind. I couldn't. It's extremely disturbing, and I will keep Jack's family in my thoughts and prayers. Oddly enough, I woke up in a different mindset today. Life is precious, and short.

I'm not going to link to the video because I think that's disrespectful to Jack and his family. I also think that's what those bastards want me to do, so screw 'em. I won't let them win. Still, people either want to see it, or feel the need to see it. From the Lycos 50:

"Over the past 48 hours searches for Mr. Armstrong and his horrific beheading were up 890 percent. Since The Lycos 50 list is based on searches for the week ending Saturday, in this case, Sat. Sept. 18, we won't know where the Eugene Armstrong searches will rank on next week's list.

However, if search activity for the beheading of Americans in Iraq continues at the same pace as it's tracking over the past 48 hours, it will be the number one search term for the week. In fact, over the past 48 hours, 'beheading of American in Iraq' is being searched more than sex. Searches for the beheading are also generating more search activity than any other news-related stories on this week's list including President Bush and the CBS memo and Hurricane Ivan. Searches for the beheading are also generating more search activity than Internet search icons, Clay Aiken and Britney Spears."

Humans are interesting, aren't they?

Need a pimp name? 'Sho you right. Good thing I got spammed at work with dis here shizzle, dizzle: playerappreciate.com.

Get yo pimp on now, 'cause you know I ain't playin', playa.

Truly,

Master Pimp Buzz Love (AKA Pimptastic B. Fresh)

When you're flipping thru TV channels and come across a movie you've already seen - maybe even own on DVD - are you drawn into watching it? Even if it's really old, say 1991, and you've watched your VHS copy about 9000 times because you were too poor to have cable while you were in college? Me too. I actually started watching Speed tonight. Why do I watch a movie, already in progress, with commercials, edited for television? Maybe I was awestruck at the amazing editing job Fox did to replace Keanu's lines of profanity with someone that sounded way too intelligent to be Keanu. Still, I watched. I cried with joy when Annie successfully piloted the bus over the 50-foot gap in the freeway overpass. I hoped Harry would get out of the house before it blew up this time.

Maybe I watched because I've been planted on the couch since the kickoff of the Colts-Titans game. Ahhh, football season.

Another WFMS Fan Jam has come and gone. (Only my first Fan Jam.) Met some very cool people today. I still felt like a fish outta water, being the "new guy." But, everyone made me feel right at home. It's funny, because I've worked with the people at WFMS for almost 3 years while I was at Retro 93-9. I knew they were very popular. I just never knew they were THAT popular. Darren was signing autographs left and right. Rock star. I'm worn out, and I feel like I didn't really do anything, except smile and answer questions. Maybe I'll buy a hat this week. When in Rome... Guess I'm off to bed. Long day tomorrow/today with all the football that needs my attention. Colts-Titans. Don't blow it, Vanderjackass.

No matter where in the world you are, you no doubt have heard the words "Florida" and "hurricane" in the same sentence recently. Let's recap: Tropical Storm Bonnie, Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances, and Hurricane Ivan - all since August 13th. Now Jeanne is threatening to crash the party. Throw in all the other problems around the world, like terrorism, genocide, wildfires, etc., and I think Someone is trying to tell us something. Think I'm nuts? You're probably right. But, check this out. Makes you wonder if maybe we're not picking up on something.

Check this out: presidentmatch.com. It's a short questionnaire on where you stand on the issues. At the end, it ranks what issues are your biggest priority, tabulates your answers, and displays how close you are to each candidate. Great for undecideds - if there are any left in the U.S. But, take it even if you've already made up your mind. Very interesting.

If you aren't registered yet, there are links to the right to get you started. Presidential Elections are held on Tuesday, November 2, 2004.

Four years is a long time to piss and moan, slacker.

Is anyone else a little uneasy about the media reporting on possible terror targets? Am I the only one who thinks it might be a little irresponsible of the networks to illustrate how close freight trains carrying toxic chemicals are in proximity to heavily populated areas, and how unprotected they are? Or how easy it still is to get onto airplanes with crap? Maybe it's just me.

If you're curious how I might go about wasting some of that valuable free time that I have, notice the links at the bottom right hand corner of the page. You can see that I'm a glutton for punishment, in some cases more than others. This weekend, The Colts, Seminoles, Bucs, and Mets all lost. The Pacers and the Lightning did not play. Even my fantasy football team would have fared better had they not shown up at all. Ironically, the only team to win this weekend was the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Twice. Back-to-Back. God does have a sense of humor.

Happy Birthday to my grandmother, Ruth. She's been to more places on Earth than I will ever visit in my lifetime, and she can drink you under the table any day. I still remember, vividly, one of her visits to us at FSU. It was final exam week, and I hadn't been to an Economics class all semester. I basically had to get an A on the final to pass the class. So, I studied for about 24 hours straight. I can remember walking back from Strozier Library to the Phi Delt house, where I lived, to find my grandmother funneling beer off the balcony of the fraternity house. Love you, Mama.

In an understanding fit of rage, Chief Osceola takes aim at the undisclosed orafice of quarterback Chris Rix

Just got back from Colts-Patriots at BW3... Damn you Vanderjagt. Idiot liquored-up kicker. You're paid to kick the stupid ball through the uprights. Ass. I'm sure you'll be quoted in the Indianapolis Star about what a great kicker you are and how awesome your streak WAS. Whatever.

Still love you, Colts.

Believe in Blue!

Dear Politician,

Shut up. Shut up, now. We're tired of listening to your crap. You and that guy from the other party. We're over your kicking and screaming and whining. If you don't like playing in the sandbox, get your butt inside, clean yourself off, and go to your room. You sound like a complete ass. Enough. Vietnam? It's over. We lost. It's 2004. Buy a new calendar and a Sharpie if you need to check off the days. Just in case no one told you what you were signing up for, here is a brief rundown of the requirements for the job for which you are applying: 1) be an American, and respect the rights and opinions of other Americans, 2) be a human being, and respect the rights and opinions of other human beings, and 3) don't screw this up. I know that's a pretty heavy responsibility for you and all the other guys that went to Yale, Harvard, etc. But you know what, dammit? We're not making you do this. No one has forced you to step forward. It takes a man or a woman to step forward. Don't talk to us about values, and which ones we should share with you. Don't spend all of our money lining your own pockets. Don't invade other countries because you think someone is a bad man and he might be unstable. Don't bully the world on behalf of America - this is one big ass apartment building, and we're just one of the tenants paying rent. Get your crap together, son, or we'll move the capital back to Philly and start this sucker fresh.

"We've got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

What a catastrophic success of a man.

1. Steve Spurrier
2. New York Yankees
3. Martha Stewart
4. Ben Affleck
5. Britney Spears
6. Larry Brown
7. France
8. Rush Limbaugh
9. Svetlana Khorkina
10. Jeff Gordon

Insensitive bastards. Go Red Sox.

After dealing with 3 major storms over the past few weeks - Tropical Storm Bonnie, Hurricane Charley, and Hurricane Frances - Florida may get another unwelcome visit from Hurricane Ivan. This thing looks like it might be pretty strong, with some predicting it will be a Category 5. It's too soon to tell where it will make landfall, and the projected track keeps changing on the National Weather Service's web site, but it should arrive wherever by this weekend. Whatever happens, I think it's time that I introduce some of my people here in Indy to the art of the Hurricane Party. It's simple, really. 1) Buy liquor 2) Lock yourselves up in the house 3) Drink. Maybe I'll tie it in with the FSU-Miami game this Friday night. I hate the Hurricanes. And those damn storms, too.

Go 'Noles!

Am I the only guy that is a little uneasy about another guy cutting my hair? I think I'd rather have my scalp shampooed and conditioned by a hot, busty blond/brunette/redhead with a tongue ring. Is that too tall an order?

Still, I feel pretty.

Are Pearl Jam and Soundgarden really "classics?" They are, according to a random 15-year-old, whose post was plucked from the web, and pasted here for your amusement and head-shaking:

"...since i like Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins so much, i thought i check out some more early 90s and grunge bands. I checked out all the classics: Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Screaming Trees, Sonic Youth, Mudhoney, Alice in Chains, Meat Puppets, Jesus Lizard, Melvins (which i couldn't find unfortunatly), and it turns out i uh...didn't like most of them. hah. figures..."

Thank you, Caitlin. I was going to sit around this weekend, counting my vitamins and reading up on the prostate. But you've convinced me to get my party on. With any luck, I won't remember my name by Saturday.

Looks like Hurricane Frances is getting stronger. Hasn't Florida had enough? I was really worried about my family when Charley was coming. Before it turned, they were right in it's path, in Tampa Bay. Frances is a category 4 already, and it may wind up being a 5. What's worse, is that it's twice the size of Charley - meaning an even larger area of devastation. And instead of coming through at 20mph, it's moving at 7mph. This could really suck. I had previously planned on flying to St. Petersburg for Labor Day weekend, but decided against it to save some cash, and pick up a extra remote on Monday. Now I wish I'd gone. I always feel guilty for not being there to help out my parents.

It's still sad to think of the people that lost their lifelong possessions, or even a loved one during Charley. But, I just read an article about a couple that is giving up the mobile home to buy a house. Um, what made you decide to buy the tin can in the first place? The portability? Most people never change lots.

At any rate, while you're gettin' your grill on this weekend, think of the Floridians who are buying up batteries, water, and plywood. We might not even get the Florida State-Miami game in on Monday, which makes this suck even more. Go 'Noles.

Single guy, grocery shopping at 11:30 at night. Pathetic? Probably. But I needed toilet paper.

You're welcome.

I like shopping late, because most of the annoying people are home - not here. Not blocking the aisle by parking their cart in the middle. Not cutting out in front of me as I round another corner, aimlessly wondering what the hell else I needed and why didn't I make a list this time? Not beating me to the register with 12 cartons of Five Alive because they were on sale. No, they're gone. So, I shop. And get carded for beer.

Again, if you are an employee of a grocery store, listen up. IF I AM UNDER 21, I WILL NOT BE TRYING TO BUY ANYTHING REMOTELY DECENT, LIKE WINE, OR IN THIS INSTANCE, SAPPORO.

The girl did seem genuinely surprised to find out that I am 31. Boyish good looks strike again. Maybe I rule. Doubt it, but I'll leave the door open. That is, until I trip over a crack in the pavement in front of the next hot girl. Which will probably occur tomorrow.

Party on.