insidebuzz : confessions of a future child star

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Sup

Nothing too exciting going on with me the last few days. Good week for the radio station though. WFMS-Indianapolis has been nominated for a CMA Award for Large Market Station of the Year. In the category for Large Market Broadcast Personality of the Year... 3 out of 5 of the nominees are from WFMS. Congratulations to Jim, Deb, and Kevin from the morning show, Darren Tandy from Country Lovin', and Hall of Famer JD Cannon. They all rock, and it's well-deserved. I'm not worthy.

In other station news, we need a new IT guy, dammit. Gary, one of the original members of the B&H Dream Team, worked his last day on Friday. We celebrated with catastrophic success at Shotz in Fort Ben, fighting a war with alcohol we knew we could not win. But now, we have all these Macs, PCs, and other technical things that need attention. Yesterday. A hot, single IT chick would be cool. Send resume and pics here.

10:33 PM |

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

When they win, we ALL win

And what a win it was. Gold medal competition.. Misty May and Kerri Walsh against two hygiene-challenged Brazilians. Who will ever forget the "celebration." Walsh smacking May on the ass, who is screaming for joy on all fours in the sand. Or May returning the props by tackling Walsh to the ground with a giant face-to-face hug. Tears have never flowed so freely from my happy eyes. Thank you, dead French guy, for bringing back the Olympics. I love sports.

Pictures... enjoy.

10:01 PM |

Brother Update

Another voice mail from Chris today. Apparently, he's been offered a role in a SAG feature film. SAG (Screen Actors Guild) is a huge deal when you're an actor. He'll earn points towards a SAG card, which gets him an "in" with other SAG projects. Some SAG stuff you can't even audition for unless you're a SAG member. And, you can't become a SAG member unless your earn a SAG card by doing SAG projects. Catch the catch? How awesome is that, though? Most people spend their entire life in NY or L.A. trying to "make it." He's already well on his way. He deserves it too - he's been busting his ass ever since he drove into town... 2 months ago!

A friend of mine told me I should go out there, because if we both make it, we'd be like Ben and Casey Affleck. I don't want to be Casey Affleck.

Actually, I don't want to be Ben either.

9:05 PM |

Monday, August 23, 2004

Bastard

My brother has been in L.A. for what, 2 months now? Today I get a voice mail from the set of NBC's Scrubs to let me know that he's having lunch at the same table as Heather Graham.

What did I do today? Let's see... I rode my bike, went to work, watched TV, and typed this crap.

11:27 PM |

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Dammit

I think I'm addicted to the "NEXT BLOG" button in the upper right-hand corner. You can't press it just once. Like a potato chip, you can't eat just one. Or maybe it's more like watching TV. You have 500 channels with nothing on. But still, you keep clicking. And clicking. The more you hit NEXT BLOG, the more you start to realize some things:

1. People can't spell
2. People can't capitalize.
3. People can't punctuate.
4. People can't write.
5. I wish I had that hour of my life back.

I've also started to notice a disturbing trend with these stupid blogs: titles. "Random thoughts, musings, meanderings, ramblings, ranting," blah blah blah. Call, your blog what it is: "Crap that no one cares about that may, or may not, be updated, whenever." Or more simply: "Blog-O-Crap." We don't stick around to talk with someone who has nothing interesting to say, so why visit their blog?

Still, I keep pressing the damn button. I suck.

4:53 PM |

Friday, August 20, 2004

You have the coolest job

There are several misconceptions about working at a radio station.

STATEMENT: You only work, like, 4 hours a day.
REBUTTAL: Incorrect. Full-time air personalities, even the biggest jackasses, actually work more than 40 hours a week. The four hours you might hear is the result of that work. It's called show prep. And yes.. watching TV is show prep.

STATEMENT: You get tickets to all the shows.
REBUTTAL: No. We get tickets to the shows that winners don't claim, clients can't use, and nobody else wants. They're usually left somewhere in the jockpit near the free food that nobody wants either.

STATEMENT: You have the coolest job.
REBUTTAL: Yes. But, there are bad days too. Take today, for example. To arrive at the station and discover huge floor fans blowing throughout the building, one could assume it had something to do with the rain. One would be wrong. The official e-mail from Engineering? "Plumbing problem."

Have a nice day.

7:37 PM |

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Today's bike ride stats

Miles covered: 10
Minutes elapsed: 50
Bugs swallowed: 2
Directionally-challenged kids dodged: 3

9:12 PM |

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

He did it

My brother is now a resident of California. Smog, rolling blackouts, wildfires, and hot women. I'm jealous. He just signed a lease on 2-bedroom duplex in North Hollywood. Right in the middle of all the action. He wants me to move in. But, he's already informed me:

1) The living room floor is hardwood and pefect for tap dancing
2) He's padding the walls of the second bedroom for his drums.

Sounds inviting, doesn't it? What a trip. Knowing Chris, he'll be hosting his first luau by Friday with an attendance upwards of 150. Should have penty of room, considering he has a pillow, his laptop, and two weeks worth of clothes. It just doesn't get any better than that.

10:23 PM |

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Stud.

10:20 PM |

Paper or plastic?

I didn't even get asked tonight. Just throw it all in a million plastic bags. Sure. That'll be fine. I'll just make an extra 9 trips from the car to my third floor apartment.

For some reason I decided to pick up a bottle of wine tonight. Occasionally, I like to pretend that I'm civilized. What do ya know? I got carded. Look, kid.. If I was under 21, I wouldn't be buying wine. But, congratulations. You're doing your job. Too bad your buddy put the wine in the bag with the bread.

As if grocery shopping didn't suck enough.

10:05 PM |

Friday, August 13, 2004

Whew

Boy, I gotta tell ya... someone's looking out for Tampa Bay. I had a bad feeling on this one. I mean, one minute I'm on the phone with Dad and it's a category 2 - hour and a half later it's a 4. That got ugly in a hurry. I'm thankful that they didn't get hit head-on. How weird is this, though: Almost all day I've been watching the local news live from St. Petersburg - online! Never thought I'd be in Indy watching Dick Fletcher doing the weather! Made me feel closer, yet so much farther away. Damn internet. Stupid hurricane. I just hope Ybor City isn't messed up. Gotta go get my Bar on.

11:16 PM |

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

We're Ready.

Olympics. Athens. And everybody hates us. I heard we were predicted to win at least 100 medals. Remember how we always used to lose to the Soviet Union? Times have changed. Here's a fun game to play with friends and family: Which team will be the first to embarrass America in front of a worldwide audience? Basketball? Track? I'd say it's a toss between Badminton and Table Tennis. Anyone playing Ping Pong as an Olympic Sport has got to be unstable. Still, I can't wait. It's always fun to see how they're going to light the torch. Not to mention what we're going to wear into the stadium. Or what the crowd's reaction will be. Sad, really. These men and women that represent the USA have trained all their lives for this moment. In a matter of days they will be judged for the actions of their government instead of their achievements as athletes. All the while, being asked to make US proud. Game on.

9:48 PM |

Sunday, August 08, 2004

A day at the pool

Imagine yourself relaxing. No work to be done this weekend, nothing at all that needs taking care of. Sure, a couple loads of laundry would be nice. But, your place is clean, and your schedule is free. The pool, it is. Mostly sunny, 82. MP3 player loaded with new tracks. Latest issue of ESPN The Magazine. Perfect. Except for lack of beer/margaritas. Then they arrive. Family of 12. Loud, obnoxious, dirty. They've packed enough crap in their teal plastic tub to last 2 weeks at the beach. 11-year-old Johnny has an earring. The two little ones are trying to kill each other with long yellow tubes. And then there's the mom... Bombs of the F, S, BS, and MF variety. All while holding the toddler, and within earshot of half the city. My mom would have dragged her home by the ear lobe and made her sit under the kitchen counter clenching a bar of Dial in her teeth.

Three things:

1) Why wasn't she at the Brickyard 400 drinking Bud and flashing the crowd?

2) Why did she reproduce?

3) Why this pool?

10:02 PM |

Thursday, August 05, 2004

The party's over

If you haven't seen the rubber band man commericals for OfficeMax yet, see them HERE. This is probably the best TV ad I've seen in years! It's even been nominated for an Emmy. This guy is the bomb. They had him throwing stuff out to the crowd on the Today Show this morning. I crack up every time I see the commercial - especially when he's dancing in the driveway. Unreal. Makes me want to go back to school. Or at least part my 'fro.

9:05 PM |

Here's to the mountains of Bush

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said.

"They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Truth DOES hurt.

7:37 PM |

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Dubya finally finds the weapons of mass destruction... in Iowa.

8:54 PM |

Hemi Powered

A man in a red pickup truck heads North on Shadeland Avenue in Indianapolis at 6pm on a Wednesday. Hanging from his rear-view mirror is a pair of shiny metal handcuffs. Is he just another huge clown-ass redneck? Instead of reaching the obvious conclusion in the affirmative, I have decided to offer a proof:

1 = Given that he is not a police officer, the handcuffs serve no purpose at work.

2 = Given that they are hanging from the mirror, the handcuffs serve no purpose in the car.

3 = Given that he is alone, the handcuffs serve no purpose.

1 + 2 + 3 = Huge Clown-Ass Redneck

Therefore, yes.

6:53 PM |

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Jackass

Don't you just love those "don't you know who I am" moments?

As if the Tampa Bay Devil Rays didn't have enough to worry about, meet Vince Naimoli.

5:36 PM |

Monday, August 02, 2004

Monday

Started new position at work today. Radio production is an odd job. One minute you're sitting around with nothing to do. The next minute, you get hit with fifteen commericals that have to be dubbed in, and it's already 5:00. There is definitely a lot of down time, though. That leaves me with 2 options: 1) stay in my studio and play online 2) socialize with co-workers and subject myself to office rumor. Hmm.

Donkey Kong it is.

8:26 PM |

...:::about

This is the true story of a radio personality who quit his job, packed up his things, and moved to L.A. to live his dream. Welcome to the official account of life on Earth, as seen through the eyes of Jason Burns... Actor, Writer, and Jackass.

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