insidebuzz : confessions of a future child star

Saturday, July 31, 2004

I just might be a redneck

I picked up the latest from Everlast today - White Trash Beautiful. It's the bomb, yo. Makes me wanna eat pork rinds and guzzle PBR.

I think I might go shopping for a doublewide tomorrow. Can you park your house wherever you want?

5:41 PM |

Friday, July 30, 2004

Goodbye, Gold

So today was my last day on Gold 104.5. I have now signed off for the final time on 2 stations in Indy this month. What a business. At least they like me enough to keep me around, I guess. Next week I transition to my new position as Assistant Production Director, and the following week I train on WFMS. The flagship. The big enchilada. The baby of Susquehanna Radio in Indianapolis. Been a long time since I've been on country radio. 1997. I guess you could say I've come full circle. Is Bryan White still big?

5:59 PM |

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Obit

Fowards suck. I hate them. Especially when they clog my inbox at work. It's not enough that I get e-mails about the investment opportunity of a lifetime, or Ginger's XXX webcam, or about my sub-par machinery. No.. I also have to get forwards from co-workers. Forwards of something cute, or funny, or sad, or outrageous, or thought-provoking that have already received at least 9 times since 1998. maybe if all the hackers and forward writers combined their intellect and creativity, we'd either A) have a cure for AIDS or B) have landed on Mars already. Still, this one IS cute:

Sad news

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough, and Jane Dough, who has one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

10:58 PM |

It's not the size of your weapon, it's how well you hide it.

9:00 PM |

Programming note

On to my new position next week. My 30 days of filling in for Scott on Gold 104.5 are up. Hope he's feeling better after his R&R.

They're throwing me right into the fire on WFMS. And, no - no hat. Or boots. Train for a couple of days, then I'm on the air. I should be on overnights starting August 8th. Ahhh.. just in time for the Indiana State Fair. Elephant ears and deep fried Snickers. Are those considered low-carb? I love that place. Mullet counting at the Fairgrounds... what would Summer be without it?

8:45 PM |

Way to go

Major props to the networks for their excellent coverage of the political conventions this year. Tonight, while the Democratic Party was leading up to the acceptance speech of John Kerry for President, ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX were all in normal programming mode. Instead of the nation listening to personal anecdotes about the candidate from his daughters, or tales of his heroism during the Vietnam War from his fellow shipmates, we were blessed with Big Brother and Last Comic Standing. Boy, am I glad. Didn't want to miss Ant, the flamboyantly gay comic, and his brilliant routine about being gay.

Thank you, PBS, for the full coverage. Thank you for giving America some credit.

8:35 PM |

Rocket science

6:35 AM |

Gym

So I started working out again. (Notice how we're always starting to work out again?) Ever since I bought my bike a few months back, I've been riding a couple times a week and skipping the gym altogether. There's a whole new crew of muscleheads that were in the house last night. You know the type - baggy track pants, muscle shirt, headphones... strutting slowly around the gym to be noticed. As if there are any hot women to impress at Midnight. Maybe I'm just odd. I don't go to the gym to be noticed. I go to the gym to work out. Do I look like ass? Probably. Do I care? Only if I fall down. These people kill me. They're the same guys you find in every bar, parading through in a pack, as if they're looking for someone to fight. Amusing.

6:09 AM |

Monday, July 26, 2004

Jeppadizzle Fo Shizzle

11:13 PM |

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Shopping

Why is it that on the rare occasion I go to Target or WalMart I get stuck in line at the checkout behind the NASCAR family whose check won't clear? Or their credit card is denied? Or they swear the mac and cheese was advertised for half the price? Now you're holding up an entire line of customers who have exact change, have good credit, have valid checks, and are in a hurry to get somewhere else. Oh, but at least that new Dale Jr. hat you got on is the bomb. What did that set you back? Twenty, thirty bucks? By the way, your kid's stomach is growling because he's hungry. And he needs a shower. And some shoes.

10:36 PM |

Saturday, July 24, 2004

It's official... they hate us.

From aljazeera.net: A new opinion poll says Arab attitudes towards the United States have deteriorated significantly over the last two years.

Duh.

Here's the fun part:

When asked what they considered the best thing about the US, high percentages of respondents in all six countries said "nothing".

What about our American moonshine? It's mighty tasty.

9:17 PM |

Idiots

From cnn.com:

Amid final preparations for the Democratic National Convention, security officials are preparing to lock down a huge area of Boston. But groups planning protests say the right to free speech has been sacrificed to the need for security. "We think the the city of Boston has gone way overboard in the name of security," a protest leader said.

We are people so stupid? Oh, you wanna see the cockpit? Sure, come on in.

8:55 PM |

Indiana sunset

View from a one bedroom apartment in Indianapolis: $550 + utilities. Knowing the picture is the same from a waterfront estate in Geist: priceless.

8:47 PM |

No more weekends

I've decided that I hate the Monon Trail on the weekend. I figured I'd do a quick 10 mile ride this morning before an afternoon remote. What I didn't count on was all the families of 10 that would be riding along. Or the walkers who like following the center line. Or the rollerbladers too busy on the cell phone to stay to one side. Or the guy who thinks he's Lance Armstrong - decked out in postal racing spandex - barreling through it all. Sometimes I hate people. It's just like driving. I think we need a special lane for stupid people. Of course, that would probably include me.

Maybe I should just go back to running in the gym. Of course, that would require me to get off the couch and drive all the way down the block.

6:38 PM |

Friday, July 23, 2004

I want to ride my bicycle

So the city released their new official bike map today. Something about how they're trying to make Indy more "bike-friendly." How do they figure Allisonville Road and 82nd Street is "bike-friendly?" Have they ever been to that intersection? If they want people to ride their bikes more, how about bike racks around town, and bridges over busy intersections? Maybe more ways to get around downtown. Other cities are doing it. It sucks trying to cross the street sometimes. Someone headed in one direction will stop for you to cross, while the a-hole headed in the other direction will speed on through, chatting away on his cell phone. Ass. And while we're at it.. let's get the rest of these unused railbeds converted to trails. Unless they want Indiana to get fatter.

10:30 PM |

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Wow

I'm really diggin' this oldies thing. I know it's temporary, but it feels like one big music history lesson. I've been doing Top 40 since 1997 and 80's for the past 2 1/2 years, so my knowledge of music before 1980 is pretty limited. I've had to do a lot of homework lately to sound somewhat intelligent on-air. Lots of cool stuff in that library.. Norman Greenbaum, Lovin' Spoonful, Doobie Brothers, CCR. Love it. Makes me wanna grow a beard, buy a bike, and ride cross-country. I can just picture people in the old Snake Pit at the 500 crankin' this stuff up and guzzling the PBR. God Bless America.

Frightening on-air moment, though. Yesterday, I caught myself saying "from Coast to Coast."

Up next on the show: "Don't touch that dial" and "We'll be right back after these messages."

Geez.

9:04 PM |

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Um... I'd like to make a deposit

I love you, Paige

Wish I could be Trading Spaces with George Washington.

6:51 PM |

Love Campaign

It's good to see that Kerry and Bush can at least SING together.

Couldn't believe I saw this on MSNBC today.

6:36 PM |

Good Advice

Got my bike out for a quick 10 miles today. Haven't done much physical activity over the past month with everything that's been going on at work. I always bring my mp3 player when I ride. Today I was in a rock mood. Remember the song 'Sheep Go To Heaven' by Cake? There's a great line in there that I think I should start reminding myself of every day:

"As soon as you're born, you start dying.. So you might as well have a good time."

So true.

10:04 AM |

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Awesome

Check this out: It's called the Internet Archive Wayback Machine. You enter any address, and it will pull up the site as it looked back then. Hours of family fun.

11:53 PM |

Sweatin' to the Oldies

So I had my first appearance for Gold 104.5 yesterday. Pizza place. Can't believe they made me eat a whole pie. It was good to hit the streets again, even if I had to explain to a million people that I was just filling in for Roddy, and why my old station no longer existed. Hey, I just push the buttons, lady. Cool people, though. It's funny how different listeners of an oldies station are. They want to come up and have a 20 minute conversation with you about how they usually go to the other location if they're doing pick-up, but they come here for a sit-down dinner. Or how amazing it is that so many new things are popping up around here, and how all of this used to be nothing but farmland. Or the jokes. 10 minute set-up for a Disney punchline. Gotta love 'em.. they're all someone's grandparents. Boy, do I miss Pops. I think tomorrow I'll order draft and sprinkle it with salt & pepper in his honor.

9:09 PM |

Monday, July 12, 2004

New(s) Movie Trailer

Is there anything more annoying on TV than the Fox News Channel? Okay, I'll give you Access Hollywood and The Simple Life... but THIS is some funny stuff. They've come a long way since Married With Children.

9:35 PM |

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Thanks for the ride

Remember HotPants?

It's been an awesome run. I feel privileged to have been part of it since almost the very beginning. There is no doubt that Retro 93-9 will go down as my favorite time in radio. It's hard to fathom getting attached to something like this, until it's gone. But here we are. Big ups to the killer staff and the loyal listeners. Without you letting me in every afternoon, I would have been talking to myself. Which I guess I am now.

I'll be around. For the time being, I'm filling in for Scott "Records" Roddy in the afternoon at Gold 104.5. Yes, I know. I started out in Indy with today's music - went back to the 80's - and now this. Who knows where you'll hear me next!

Thanks again for all the support. Party on.

10:17 PM |

...:::about

This is the true story of a radio personality who quit his job, packed up his things, and moved to L.A. to live his dream. Welcome to the official account of life on Earth, as seen through the eyes of Jason Burns... Actor, Writer, and Jackass.

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